Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
