the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
