I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
just tell him i said nine months
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
