you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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