dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
