he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
