ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
