It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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