I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
i think we sleep fucked last night...
that is very illegal...i love you.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
