Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
