yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
