You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
