You really coming over, don't trick.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Your penis caused this!
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
