I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I hate all girls vehemently.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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