3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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