I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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