Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
