Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
well you can't waste a boner
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize