Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
