I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
did you just send me my own nude
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
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