im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
