Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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