my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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