Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
