just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
