hell yes lets make some ravioli
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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