but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
