I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
