ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
You took a bar mat shot.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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