weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize