why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
