i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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