your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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