Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Randomize
