im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
