too bad you live with your parents still
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
She even gives head with a lisp.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
