'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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