I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
