i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
