i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
