there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
