she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
