I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
