i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
COCAINE IS GR8
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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