im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
