Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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