I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
So vagazzling was a success
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
