You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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