I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
