no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
