Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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