I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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