one word: firstdatebathroomanal
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
If its not for food we ain't going out.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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