Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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