im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize