I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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