This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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