Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
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Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
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What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
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