i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
