And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
